Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
