I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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