New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
