I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
