Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
