How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
