K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
