It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
