I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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