Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
