Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
