Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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