The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
