The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
50% drunk capacity currently
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
