girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
