it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
