No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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