Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
...so i touched it.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
