i need an iv and a liver transplant
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
