the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
