you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
