Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My feet surprised me
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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