Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's never too late to be topless.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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