i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
