Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
