And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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