New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
