i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
