no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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