After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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