the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
