its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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