I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
