and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
