You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
worst night to have a conscience
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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