at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if only i could text you this smell
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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