So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
