I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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