Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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