yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
