Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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