I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
