pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
