He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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