my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
