At least make sure they are 18
Why
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize