Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
