My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
