I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
