I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Your dad touched me again.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
