I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
