i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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