My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
